


wolves amongst thorns

by shrodingers



Category: Mononoke-hime | Princess Mononoke
Genre: Because yes, Existential Crisises, F/M, Fluff, Introspection, and ashitaka loves her for it, san is a fucking badass, soft because it's these two, some food
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-08-05
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:02:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25282804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shrodingers/pseuds/shrodingers
Summary: she hates all humans. well, maybe except for one.or, in which San starts to feel more like a human, all thanks to a certain boy who's willing to give her his heart.
Relationships: Ashitaka/San (Mononoke-hime)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 37





	wolves amongst thorns

She dreamt of her mother last night.

It had been nearly a month since she died, but that didn't mean that she stopped grieving. (The dreams came every night, but she never told her brothers. The last thing she wanted was for them to worry.) 

And it would always start the same, too. She would walk aimlessly through the forest, and Moro would be by the lake, grooming herself. She would then sit up and ask: "Are you enough?", and she would wake up in cold sweat.

What did that mean? She tried to maintain the peace between the forest spirits, taking over the duties that her mother did. However, there was still that voice who taunted her over being a simple, stupid, human, a̶n̶d̶ ̶h̶e̶r̶ ̶g̶r̶o̶w̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶f̶o̶n̶d̶n̶e̶s̶s̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶ ̶o̶n̶e̶. 

Still, it didn't matter. There were no more humans raiding the forests, which pleased the spirits ("For now," growled the head of the ape spirits, "But if you mess up, we will feast, starting with you."). There were, however, more trees being planted now, which made the kodomo very happy. She suspected it could be Ashitaka's doing, or maybe even Eboshi's. Either way, the forest was now at peace, which meant that she and her brothers had nothing much to do. 

"I wonder how that elk is doing, he seemed like a nice guy," commented Elder Brother as they ate their dinner. 

"I don't think sister is concerned about that, it's his companion she's excited for," said Second Brother with a twinkle in his eye. 

"How dare you? I am the chief of the forest! I have no time for romantic endeavors of any kind!" San hissed, baring her teeth as she did so. 

"Who said anything about romantic, San?" teased Elder Brother, who gave a wink, which only made San madder. 

"You know that we're simply teasing you, San," said Second Brother. "We like him, and he would make a suitable mate for you." 

"Besides, he seems to be fond of you too. Mother did mention that he wanted to share a new life here with you." 

How could she forget? She would often replay Mother's words before she went to sleep every night, wondering what would have happened if Ashitaka had stayed. Images of him hunting with her brothers and Yakul before eating in their shared cave flashed through her mind. But Ashitaka made his choice, due to his desire to allow both man and forest to be one. (She secretly admired his choice, but she never dared to voice it out loud.) 

"I-I know, Elder Brother. But he does not 𝑏𝑒𝑙𝑜𝑛𝑔 here; it's better off that he's with the humans. He could settle down, choose a lovely partner, and spend his last days amongst his people. While we would spend our livelihoods here, bettering the forests for years to come until we too, move on to the afterlife." said San rather dejectedly. 

Elder Brother rubbed his fur against her. "San, you do not know that. From what we have observed, the boy seems to understand. Both of you are two halves of the same person, and it is what brings you two together. You may not realize this now, but you will eventually." 

"Though, it's a shame that we can't eat the elk, now that we've befriended him." complained Second Brother. 

!! 

A few days after their conversation, Ashitaka had come to visit. Her heart hammered loudly in her chest as she pulled him in for a hug. If her brothers noticed her nervous expression, they chose not to comment on it. They chose wisely.

"It's so good to see you too!" Ashitaka exclaimed as her brothers leaped on him, licking him and Yakul all over. San couldn't help but laugh. It felt like yesterday when her brothers had threatened to maul his face, and now, they seemed he had been accepted as one of their own.

"Okay, okay, lay off the poor guy. He had quite a journey," said San, pulling him to his feet. She then punched him in the shoulder good-naturedly. "It's good to see you, Ashitaka." 

"I missed you, San." he muttered, his cheeks turning red. It was true. The whole year he had spent trying to re-build Irontown, he spent those nights thinking about San and counted down the days when he could visit her. Sometimes he wondered whether he made the right choice to stay, instead of abandoning humanity to live with her. Although Eboshi had tried to set him up with the single women in the town, none of them were San. It was times like these that made him think he made the wrong choice. 

"Well, enough of that sentimental 𝑏𝑢𝑙𝑙𝑠ℎ𝑖𝑡! Let's go hunt!" said San, pumping her fist in the air. 

Ashitaka shook his head, smiling. Things haven't changed at all. 

!! 

"So, your people believe in the forest spirits too?" 

Ashitaka nodded as he stirred the broth. After a hard day of hunting, the five of them had returned to the cave to share the fruits of their labor. San's brothers were already devouring the meat, while Yakul had some berries (the ones that San had deemed safe). All that was left was preparing their food. 

"And you also believe that the human world and the spirit world can live as one?" 

"Mhm," he said as he poured the broth into two bowls, before serving with some of the bones from the animal that they killed.

"What's that you're making, exactly?" she asked, peering over the pot that he was stirring. Ashitaka smiled.

"That," he said, giving her a bowl, "Is a lovely bone broth. It's been in the family for generations," he whispered, with a twinkle in his eyes, which caused San to blush. That, or it was the fire. 

Taking the bowl, she tentatively took a sip. Then her face broke into a wide grin. Ashitaka couldn't help but feel his heart whoop with joy. 

"This is delicious! How did you make such a dish?" San exclaimed as she slurped the whole thing down, banging the now-empty bowl on the floor of the cave, startling Yakul and her brothers. Ashitaka couldn't help but laugh at her wild yet naive nature, which he found adorable. Of course, she didn't need to know that. 

"My father taught me how to make it, whose father taught him, and his father taught him." he said, as he sipped at his own broth. 

"How exactly did you get to Irontown? You said that you believed that humans and spirits can coincide in peace, and I know that was not Irontown's values before that." San asked, sitting closer to him. 

"Before I came here, I lived my life in an Emishi village as the prince. I had my father and my sister, and of course my friends. I spent my days hunting, attending meetings, and fighting if absolutely necessary. For a while, I was content," said Ashitaka, closing his eyes, as if imagining he was there. 

"And then what happened?" asked San, her voice wary. 

"And then," his face darkened, "Our village was attacked. Nago, a boar spirit turned demon, had raided our village and killed some of our men. I managed to kill him, but not before he cursed me to suffer the same fate he did. The local wise-woman told me to find Nago's original home to lift the curse, but in doing so," his voice broke, "I can never return." 

"Oh, Ashi," she sighed, as she enveloped him in a hug. It felt rather unfamiliar to her, but he's done it the last time she was upset, so it was time for her to return the favor. 

As he sobbed, she made a silent wish for him to not deal with any more pain. She didn't want another person to feel the same she had. 

!! 

"I can see that the forest is now thriving." 

San turned, smiling when she saw who it was. "Good morning to you too." 

Ashitaka gestured to their surroundings. "San, look at this! It wasn't like this the last time! You led the forest spirits to truly heal this place!" 

"No thanks to an uncompromising, yet courageous boy who told us to work together." 

Ashitaka smiled. "I suppose so," he said smugly. 

"Yo-you jerk! You narcissistic, egoistical jer-" the words were snatched as he leaned in and placed his mouth on hers. 

As he let go, he sighed. "You know, I've been wanting to do that for a while now," he whispered. 

"Oh, is that so?" she laughed. "Well, we can make up for lost time then." 

As he leaned in once more, San realized that being human was not so bad after all. She still had her brothers, and she would not lose her wolf self, but she now had Ashitaka alongside her, one who didn't judge her for her animalistic behavior and her (slight) tendency for violence. So that night, when Moro asked her whether she was enough, she finally said yes. 

**Author's Note:**

> okay so I love ashitaka and san so, uh, yeah


End file.
